Guest Anonymous Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 If this seems cold it's not meant to. I'm not coping well right now. ANother day I will tell you exactly how wonderful this little guy was and how much he was a part of our family even after only one week. We put Smudge to sleep this morning. He passed peacefully before his time at 10:45 am today. He was strong postive for Parvo. I'm kicking myself for this. I should have KNOWN Saturday night when he started running a fever. I blew it off to him just waking up. He even played yesterday morning! I'm kicking myself for exposing my dogs to it. Mac has had one set of vaccines he got another booster just about 10 minutes ago since the vet sent it home with my husband. I couldn't be there but my husband was. According to him the vet said the positive dot showed before the control dot. He gave me the option of treating but was honest that he didn't think he could make it. He didn't even have diarrea until last night! I'm kicking and hating myself right now for this. The only comfort is in knowing that he KNEW love and was let go in the arms of the man who loved him. If I'm not around it's because I'm busy kicking myself for this. I feel I should have known what was wrong, I should have done something other than assume that it was something it wasn't. I am a former vet tech and a rescuer...I should know the signs of Parvo. The part that is killing me is that the person I got him from seems to feel I'm blaming her. I'm not. I'm angry right now but I'm not sure who I'm more angry at...myself or some higher power. I am trying to figure out what reason it was he was brought into my life. I can't see a reason for this other than to break my heart. Maybe for once I won't be able to find a reason. Thank you all for your prayers I wish they had worked for him. I guess it wasn't meant to be. Next time a pup feels warm I'll run it to the vet but it will be a VERY long time before I allow a puppy into my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AllAmericanPUP Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 so sorry. :cry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Horsefeathers! Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Oh, Tammy, I'm so very sorry! Life is a series of judgment calls. Sometimes we make the right decisions and sometimes we don't. You can't kick yourself for not being right 100% of the time. It's not always easy to interpret what little things mean or whether they're worth panicking over. This is so cliche, but hindsight is 20/20. I don't think you were negligent at all. Parvo can overcome a puppy so fast. To be honest, we've lost puppies in the past to parvo, too, and it's one reason I also don't do puppy rescue anymore. Grieve, but don't be so hard on yourself (easier said than done, I know). :( RIP, little Smudgie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MajiesMom Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Oh my god. I am so sorry. Please don't beat yourself up over it. (((Hugs))) Rest in peace Smudge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ObedienceGrrl Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I'm so sorry, Tammy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hicksstar Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I am so sorry Tammy. Please try not to beat yourself up. We cant have all the answers all of the time, I know this won't help you feel better now but he is no longer suffering. R.I.P. Smudgie :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Tammy I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with HF that you shouldn't beat yourself up about this. I don't think that I would have done anything different than what you did. RIP Smudgie. :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abker17 Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I'm very sorry to hear about that Tammy, my thoughts will be with you during this difficult time. RIP Smudgie. :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtnek Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I am VERY sorry to hear that Tammy. Dont beat yourself up, a warm, tired dog could be just that. They can be lethargic just from having a cold....this isnt something "bad" you did, it was a situation you couldnt have corrected. Even if you had taken Smudgie in that day, the diagnosis would have been the same. warm thoughts and **hugs** to you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
between the wrinkles Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 big hugs to you. rest in peace smudgie. :angel: and many more big hugs to you tammy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolk9s Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Tammy, I'm so sorry to hear that your beloved Smudge has gone to the bridge. I agree with everyone else, PLEASE don't beat yourself up for not being clairvoyant, for not being psychic, for not being God. Smudge was loved and cared for right to his all too soon end. Some dogs are very stoic and you did not have a crystal ball to tell you something serious was happening with him. Any one of us could have made the same choices as you did based on the lack of evidence that he was truly sick. I once took my older girl to the vet for something routine, while there, the vet found a small open wound on her side. I had no idea it was there as her fur covered it quite well. You are not a bad person, a bad dog mom because of this. R.I.P. Smudge and play with all the other puppies at the bridge and be sure to tell them you had a wonderful home with boundless love on this earth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Thank you all. I feel like crap because my gut said one thing while my mind said another. I followed my mind...which was in denial. I screamed and yelled all the way home from work. I want to be angry I want to hate right now and since there really is no one else to be those things at I'm taking them out on myself...smoking to much, not able to keep food down...not actually taking it out on myself (Honestly I'm not that off :-) ). Thanks again. I needed to hear that I"m not the worst dog owner on the face of the earth. Now if you all can just send many good vibes here for the next two weeks....Mac is only 7 months old and has had two Parvo vaccines but still I can't help but be scared! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gooeydog Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I'm very sorry to see this :( It may be of little consolation to you, but judging from the pictures you posted of the little guy since you had gotten him, he was very content at your home, and I'm sure he was grateful to have been loved by you and your family, even if for only a short time. My thoughts are with you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtnek Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 [quote name='Tammy']Thank you all. I feel like crap because my gut said one thing while my mind said another. I followed my mind...which was in denial. I screamed and yelled all the way home from work. I want to be angry I want to hate right now and since there really is no one else to be those things at I'm taking them out on myself...smoking to much, not able to keep food down...not actually taking it out on myself (Honestly I'm not that off :-) ). Thanks again. I needed to hear that I"m not the worst dog owner on the face of the earth. no, you're not. If I had a puppy that seemed slightly feverish, slightly lethargic on one day, I would have said "cold". I would not have rushed him to the vet immediately, I would've waited to see how the next day went. Usually, in these cases. the dog is up and around the next day. When he showed other, worse sympton,s you took him in. You did what 99% of the population would have done. Tammy, please realize that taking him in that first day would not have changed the diagnosis. He had Parvo. Taking him in one or two days sooner would not have changed that in any way. Nor would taking him in one or two days sooner have changed the prognosis for treatment. You did nothing wrong. I know you are suffering for this, and I feel for that, but really, what else could you have done? I beat myslef up over Alex's death. (blastomycosis). I should have seen something sooner. I should have noticed him acting strange. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. He didnt act any different, until it was too late. He didnt act strange in any way. Until it was too late..... My heart and thoughts go out to you. My vet had to beat it into my head that I was not responsible for Alex's death. I'm sure if you talk tio your vet he/she will tell you the same thing. We are here for you. Now if you all can just send many good vibes here for the next two weeks....Mac is only 7 months old and has had two Parvo vaccines but still I can't help but be scared![/quote] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yoladybug Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 You're in my thoughts. Everyone is right...you didn't do anything wrong, and you shouldn't be too hard on yourself, especially since it won't do any good or change anything (although I realize this is easier said then done). You offered love to a puppy that may have had a horrible life elsewhere...that's the best thing you could have ever done for him, so try to remember that these next few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarFox Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 I'm so sorry Tammy. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You provided Smudgie with everything, food, a great home, and unconditional love. I know it's very hard right now but just think that he is running free at the Bridge right now happy and healty knowing that someone on earth loves him very much. ((((Hugs)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Queen Bitch Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Tammy, I don't know what to say other than, he knew real love for the time that you had him. I know that is a small comfort to you right now, but it was a huge comfort to him. He left being loved and cherished, and that is never a waste, whether it be a day or a year. They KNOW when they are loved and cherished. The fact that you are so torn up over this proves that you are an excellent doggy mom. I know that he would thank you if he could. My thoughts are with you darlin. If you need to talk, we are here. ( My contact info is in my profile, it is centralhellside on AIM or centralhellside@ hotmail on MSN) I know you know that, but stating it just re-enforces it. Once again Tammy, you made this dog's life better, there is no wrong in that. He left knowing real love. He was lucky to have found you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Kat Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 oh goodness Tammy this is a shock... I am so sorry to hear about wee Smudge. As the others have said parvo is so fast to overcome a puppy. Don't feel bad. *hugs* :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xavierandrea Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Tammy, don't beat yourself over this please. Your are a great mommy to your doggies! We all do our best when it comes to our fur babies. It is clear that you love your guys and you cherish them otherwise you wouldn't provide them with all the love you have to date. You have given Smudgie something many doggies never experience, LOVE! He is now an :angel: watching over you and your family smiling down from heaven thanking you for loving him! Smile you have many friends here at Dogo wishing you the best and sending you much needed :buzi: to you and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ESSlover Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Tammy, I am so sorry :( I can only echo what the others said, don't beat yourself up over it. I know how it feels, when Mocha died, me and my dad beat ourselves up over it, if she had been on her leash, she wouldnt have gone out so far, she wouldnt have landed on that stick. But she wasn't and theres nothing that we can do about it now. Time will heal these wouds... My prayers and good thoughts are comming full force now for that puppy. Run free at the bridge Smudge :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_Matty Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 Sorry to hear about smudge. [quote][b]CPV-2 (Parvo) is known to survive on inanimate objects - such as clothing, food pans, and cage floors - for 5 months and longer in the right conditions.[/b] Insects and rodents may also serve as vectors playing an important role in the transmission of the disease. [b]All parvoviruses are extremely stable and are resistant to adverse environmental influences such as low pH and high heat. Exposure to ultraviolet light and sodium hypochlorite (a 1:32 dilution of household bleach - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 So sorry for your loss. Don't be too hard on yourself. Hindsight is always 20/20 but at the time things are not always so clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 so sorry to hear the news tammy *hugs* it wasn't your fault. don't blame your self Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marion Posted December 14, 2004 Share Posted December 14, 2004 So sorry to hear your sad news Tammy. :( Run free little Smudgie. :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JackieMaya Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Tammy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Smudgie. You were a great dog mom, and he knew he was loved up to the end. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.