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Bye Bye Dal!!


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Guest Anonymous

:cry: :cry: Dal's left us!! :cry:
I've tried and tried, and tried again to convince her to stay, but she's said she's gone for good. Vamoose! Trust me, I've used puppy eyes and everything...
I asked her if she wanted me to tell ya'll and she said yes, so I'm tellin ya. (just between us, if you would like to try and convince her to stay, I will relay the messages :wink: )
So yeah, I'm not sure what else to say, so I guess that's about it! I'll miss her on Dogo that's for sure :( Even though I still talk to her just about every day on MSN, I'm still guna miss her :(

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[b]This post was written by DAL. She asked me to post it for her because she can't get onto dogo. [/b]


Thank you Shara and Starfox..... I'm not coming back. I just HAD to "educate" you guys on a few things, after convincing from Shara, Startfox and K... So i will post this and then i will leave, and when i feel i am ready, IF i am ever ready to come back on here then i will... chances are very slim. but. I have to get this off my chest. I'm a very sensitive person, and take to heart everything that everyone one says. and what you all said hurt me so back i broke down in tears and cried for a good 30 mins..

I was not meaning that my dogs by *ANY* means are aggressive or mean. they would *NEVER* attack or hurt anyone...

Here are some things you *DO NOT* understand about Deaf dogs.. seeing as though YOU do not *OWN* one, and Cody is *MY DOG* not yours... Deaf dogs can be more protective then the regular hearing dog. Cody is much more protective of me and my hsuband then Zoey is. and Zoey is a rottie, the one you'd think would be protective. Cody sleeps between me and the door when my husband is gone, and when he's home he sleeps at my feet, on my side of the bed on the floor, or at the top of the stairs. When we are in the house he stands between me and the person who comes in, he has to ok them in order for them to touch me in anyway. when we are out in public he is not nearly as bad he just wants attention. Cody *CAN HEAR* some things ( certain pitches) he can hear Zoey bark when the bell rings and he can sometimes hear other dogs barking, he can feel the vibrations on the floor and when someone knocks onthe door. He can sense stuff before Zoey hears it or anyone else. he'll start barking and going crazy and Zoey looks at him like " wtf are you doing?" and my husband and i laugh and are liek what is going on? then we will here someone at the door , or a car with loud music drive by.

Cody and i have a*VER VERY* special bond that no one will ever be able to break OR replace. he knows what i want from him before i even sign it to him. he looks at me and can tell how i am and whats wrong and when it's the right time to just plop in my lap or sit next to my and look at me out of the corner of his eye.
It has been noted many times that Deaf Dogs can be great protectors and have a stong urge to protect. as what was going on here.
you guys can say all you want for iwill not be here to read the negative and if there is any possitive i'm sure Star or shara or K will let me know.
I just had to let you knows know that, and show you didn't get the better of me. you just dont understand Cody or deaf dogs and their personalities nor do you know Zoey's at that..

that's my input... shara, Starfox, K if you could let me know if someone says something nice id appreciate it just drop me a line or something!!

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DAL,

I am assuming it was my post in the Guard Dog thread that upset you and I apologise for that. It was never my intention to upset you and certainly not to make you cry. For that I feel really bad.

I didn't mean to be rude and I never used the words stupid or dumb. That is not what I was trying to convey or what I thought. My post was out of concern, not out of spite or nastiness nor was I trying to get the better of you – just trying to get you to see it from another perspective. I still stand by what I said, however putting things in writing is never the same as actually speaking to someone and sometimes things just don’t come out they way we intend or we read too much into things.

I NEVER put down Cody or Zoe, or they way you treat them. I actually think the progress you are making teaching Cody commands by signal is fantastic.

I was however worried over the enthusiasm you showed for their aggressive behavior and from the sounds of your original post it seemed as if you would encourage them to act like that in the future. It’s now a bit clearer that this was an isolated incident so maybe my concerns were unwarranted – again it’s very easy to misconstrue something from an email. I personally have never felt the need to have a dog for protection so I guess I can’t put myself in your shoes, however if you do feel it is necessary just make sure you go about it the right way.

You are a valued member of the forum and I don’t believe that this is worth leaving over. No hard feelings hey.

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JMHO

But I really do think you are taking this too personally. When I first started coming to forums I was sensitive about things too, but I learned that people are not attacking, they are trying to educate and help me. I dont know about you, but I certainly dont know everything. I value all the information and opinions that are shared here. We all have one thing in common, our love for our pets and animals in general. I think that if you can learn to look at the information given in the manner it is intended instead of reading into it, you will greatly benefit from all the highly experienced and knowledgable members here. Take everything with a grain a salt.

I know I did not intend to make you as upset as I did. I know when I was first told about the lights, I was so grateful to learn about the dangers, I just assumed you would be too. I know you want to take the best possible care of Zoe and Cody that you can.

You have every right to leave, but I think you owe it to Zoe and Cody to stay and continue to learn with the rest of us.

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I am going out on a limb but I need to say this. ( I am prepared to get yelled at. )
I know exactly how DAL is feeling in more ways than one. I too am very sensitive. I understand the excitement that DAL was feeling when her fur babies barked. I did the same thing. As most of you know I have 3 Rotties. My Patti was adopted at the age of 3. She was not raised in my home so she never barked at strangers. It has been over a year since we got her, and just recently she began to bark at strangers in the driveway. YES I praised her! I am not ashamed to say it. Yes I give her treats when she does it. You can all yell at me for doing that. Patti is very scared of people so when I heard her bark for the 1st time I was very excited! Our trainer says we should praise the dogs when they do something that we want, but also correct them when they do something we do not want. If I remember correctly DAL did take the dogs and crated 1 and placed the other in the bathroom. I do the same with my guys and they still act all crazy and bark but the second I take them out their back to normal. I truly believe our dogs like to embarass us at times. Lets act all crazy so mommy looks stupid in front of strangers. My other 2 started barking at people at about 6 or 7 months old. Lets face it we all get excited when it comes to our dogs! I truly believe that DAL was not excited because her dogs were showing " signs of aggression " but she was excited that her babies were showing her that they are there to protect her! Zoey and Cody know that Daddy is not home and they wanted to show Mommy that she doesn't need to worry or be scared because they are there for her. Also I posted a few posts in which I got a little sensitive when I read the replies. I have only been on this site for a short period of time and I do not want to see DAL leave. I enjoy reading your posts. I enjoyed reading about the training classes. I also chuckled when I read how your doggy was tearing things up and not listening. Not because I thought it was funny but because it reminds me of what I went through with my guys. We are all like family here and to see you leave would be upsetting to me. I now wish I posted something back when I read the WOOOOOW I have guard dogs post. I would have congratulated you because your dogs have come a long way. DAL ...I hope that this post will change your mind and you will rejoin us here. PLEASE :cry:

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I'm really lost :-? I've had deaf and blind dogs and know they can be happy and live normal lives so I'm a bit confused. Hell, I'm even offering to take a deaf kitten if my puppies breeder can't keep her when she moves.. What did I MISS?

DAL COME BACK! *grabs your tail and doesn't let go*

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DAL - Please come back. I don't think you realize the effect you have on all of us here - I know that you have taught me A LOT about deaf dogs and the special needs they have, and how to work with special needs dogs. As many people have said, I think that sometimes what we write comes off different than what we mean to say, since we can't see the expressions on our faces like we can when we talk face to face.
Please don't be offended, we all want you here.

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Awwww Dal hun come back :(
I'm really sensitive too,I know how upset these things can make you,I have hardened up a bit now but still nasty comments will get to me and keep me awake at night.
Shara will pass on my e-mail msn etc to you if you want to keep in touch but I really do hope I'll be chatting to you on here instead :wink:
Chin up babe :wink:

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:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: Please deliver this message to DAL someone:
I am really upset that u left, but I can understand u're point of view. I to am a very sensitive person, and have been hurt before at this board. I cried for awhile, and told some people and seriously considered leaving. Most of it was a misunderstanding, but it still hurt. :( BUT, I didn't leave, and now I'm very very thankful for that. I've made alot of good friends on this board, and I can't belive I considered leaving. I hope u consider coming back, but if u don't I hope u will remain at HH. I really enjoy u're posts. :)

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Guest Mutts4Me

Aww, I don't think anyone meant to insult or offend you, Dal.

I didn't post in either thread (laser lights or guard dogs), but I think everyone had the best of intentions. They were just trying to make helpful suggestions, just like you might try to help people out yourself, if you weren't so sure about something they thought/said/did. For the benefit of them and their dogs.

By no means was someone meaning to suggest "You're a bad dog owner! You did a bad thing!" or "You have bad dogs! You acted wrong!" in either case. Everyone's here to learn from others and help when they can, based on what they've learned in life, and in this community. That's what this community is about, sharing perspectives. Not everyone's going to have the same opinion, but I think that, from what I've seen, people are willing to accept each others' opinions for what they are. No one's out to comdemn everyone who doesn't aggree with them exactly.

Every unique viewpoint is special. It helps put things into perspective.

Now, I know if I excitedly told a story about something that happened with my dog, and was confronted with multiple opinions that kind of differed from my initial take on the situation (as happened with you), I'd be a little crestfallen. Hurt, even. But with so many dog people telling me similar things, I'd have to at least be open to what they said. And most importantly, I'd make myself realize (no matter what sensitivity said) that it wasn't personal, because it's not.

I, for one, wouldn't want people to refrain from sharing their insight with me if it was for the sake of my dog. I wouldn't want to continue doing something that might be harmful to my dog, and then find out later, after something bad had happened, that people had known it was going to happen, and didn't say anything for fear of hurting my feelings. No one benefits from that.

If someone misunderstands you, or they gave you helpful advice that you already knew, then clarify the situation, and be grateful people care enough to try to help. As much as you know your dogs, maybe one day, someone could give you some valuable advice that you hadn't considered before. And that's the value of doggy friends :)

I hope you come back. Best wishes to you and your pups, even if you don't.

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NOOOOO!! PLEASE DAL DON'T LEAVE!!! :cry:
Can someone please send this message to Dal? Please?

I don't know what's been going on, but I know about the sensitive -part. I left a Finnish dog forum before for a good 6 months, because of the very same thing. Do you know why? Because I was litterally called a "bad dog owner". According to some of them I (quote) "torture my dogs". :cry:
Now I've gone back and I've even become a moderator on that very same place. They have changed the forum since when I left, so I'm hoping this will not happen again. If someone ever calls me something like that in there ever again, I will leave and this time for good. Right now I'm giving them a second chanse.
When I left the forum, I was so hurt. I cried so many nights because of the hurtfull things they told me.
I'll start from the beginning:
I once asked them what it ment to become a breeder. I wanted to know more about breeding and I was literally stoned with insults. They told me I would never become a good breeder, because my idea of life is a dance on roses. (wich is not true) The thread become over 200 posts long and no matter how hard I tried to explain that I just want to know more about breeding, it was useless. So I lost my temper at the two biggest bullies from that forum. I allso wanted to become a moderator, because it had been a dream of mine for so long. One day I got an e-mail that said that the forum would love to have me as their moderator. The next day they sent me another e-mail saying they can not take me as a moderator, because they want someone with a "better reputation". That was the last straw. I told them to freeze my account, because I would never come back again.
Now, six months later, I haven't had a single hurtfull thing said to me... So I've given them a second chanse. And as I told you before, if someone hurts me in some way again. I will definately leave and never look back. See, something good did come out of the fact that I left the forum. I found dogomania. Ever since, I've been coming here!
I personally don't know what it's like to live with a deaf dog, but I think it's fantastic that someone has the courage and the streangth to do that. The relationship you described you have between you and Cody is absolutely fantastic! I envy you!
I wish you all the best and I hope you would think again. People aren't that bad here. Actually, they are much, MUCH better then on the finnish forum I was on. The reason for that is, that in here there are more adults. On the finnish forum, most of the people are just about 13!!


PS: Could I read this post where the whole thing began, because I have no clue on what's going on?

/Crest

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Ok... I found the post.
I don't really know what to say... Ben can react the same way if someone comes in wich he of some reason is scared of, but he growls and barks from a distance.
I still stand by what I said. Please come back! I really believe everyone on that post had the best intentions, allthough, I must say, they could have said it a bit more softly. Everyone had good points, but no one was there exept you. No one knows your dogs as you do. No one's been there for your dogs the way you've been. So I think there was some misunderstandings in that thread. And I don't think you should leave for that. I'm sure everyone is very sorry.
If you are going to leave, then I would still like to talk to you sometimes. What's your msn address?

/Crest

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please sned this to DAL Shara or Starfox or K...

DAL, I too apologize if what I said appeared harsh. It was definitely NOT meant to be that way at all.. I was merely concerned that your dogs reacted so strongly, and did not appear to obey you, however, I did not know that your husband is not home. I can accept their reaction better
knowing that they were protecting you in the absense of the alpha.

Please dont take what was said personally, I am positive it was all with good intentions, and I would hate to lose you as both a friend and a
dog owner who has taught me alot about the world of deaf dogs and caring for them. I have never had one, so your information has been
much appreciated about them....

Please reconsider?

Katy

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Guest Anonymous

Wow, that's a LOT to send to her... I'll see if she'll swing by and read it, but she seems to be standing by this leaving thing :-?
Waiting for her to come back... she went to save her fur kids from taungting childern I think she said...

Hum ditty dum *starts humming jeoprody song*
hmmm...

Okay, well I'm tired of waiting lol if she says she'll take a look then great, if not then I'll frwd all your guy's posts to her in this e-mail I'm actually sending like, right now...

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Mutts4Me - Insightful and well-worded post.

Mei-Mei wrote:
[quote]I wish I was smart enough to leave this subject alone, but for some reason I feel like I have to express an opinion that is different from everyone else's. I just can't keep my mouth shut. [/quote]

I don't think you should have to keep your mouth shut. So long as you try to state your opinion politely, address the issue and not the poster on a personal level and have good intentions . . . well that is what a board is for . . . right? Of course their are going to be times we disagree with each other or misunderstand each other or each other's intentions but the later two are mostly because we a typing, dealing in a media with no voice inflection - misunderstandings happen. I'm here to learn and to share, if I only ever had people agree with me or say what I already knew I probably wouldn't come around as much - not very stimulating. As for sensitivity - I do sympathize with DAL. It is hard going through life extra sensitive or having periods were you are sensitive and unhappy and I suspect now is a hard time for DAL. If she has to stay away to insulate herself while she copes with it then I'm sure that is a decision she has made with some difficulty and perhaps we should respect it.

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Guest Anonymous

Well, I asked her to read this thread, and she did, and she e-mailed me today and said she's not returning :cry:
Can't say I didn't try *sigh*
I understand where both sides of this are comming from though, so I feel like the messanger girl stuck in the middle and not able to express my opinion :-?
I understand where Dal's comming from, I have to admit, some things people have said on dogo to me have made me cry numberous times (and I'm not just talking about the sad posts about animal cruelty and such, I mean things aimed towards me), and I have thought of leaving a few times. But I'm still here. I'm still here because even though it's hard, your right, things do get misread, and everyone's intentions are [b]USUALLY[/b] for the best when they post. So I come back stronger and more willing to take in other's opinions and answers, and read things more carefully. However, that's how I deal with it. I'm sure Dal has different ways, and I cant' force upon her to try and deal with things as I do, because it might not even work for her! I hope in the end she eventually comes back, but I guess for now I'll just have to talk to her on msn, which I don't mind, I love Dal, I think she's a great friend, but I think I will miss her insightful posts, she's taught me (as I know she has others) a lot about deaf dogs, and when I thought I couldn't possibly know more about the Aussie then I do, she taught me more to know!! :D I will say she will be missed on dogo, but I'll stop pestering her to come back now.

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I have to agree with Mei-Mei. There aren't many boards left for Naomi to leave.

This is the internet ...... everyone needs to grow up and understand that people use the internet ..... sometimes people let their frustrations out on others they don't know because it's easy.

No one should beg, ask or plead anyone to return. It's their choice ...... Naomi is learning how to care for her dogs and offer her experience to others.

Naomi and I have had our disagreements on another board and she left. I wish her the best with her dogs and her life, but to plead with someone to come back ....... it shouldn't happen and no one here or anywhere should place that much importance on a "cyber-friendship".

Owning dogs is a learning experience throughout the dogs life with you. A new dog will offer you a new learning experience. No one knows everything ........ to be closed minded and hurt because others do not agree with your posts/opinions is childish ....... unless the posts were malicious to begin with.

Maturing takes time in humans and animals.

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I visit a few boards and many of the posters I consider my "cyber-friends" ...... not my friends, as in my "circle of personal acquaintances". To me, there is a difference.

Of course, you all, or we all get support when we ask for it from message boards ...... there are "cyber-friends" I know that I will ask for advice from about training/dogs etc before I would ask a personal friend.

Perhaps it is all a matter of semantics? This is just my opinion, not an attack or a bashing of anyone.

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It sounds nice K .... I am glad that I have a very supportive family, husband, children (even tho young), my dog friends, and my circle of friends, neighbors and school friends.

I suppose wherever you feel loved and able to "let your hair down" is where you should be.

I am ever grateful for the advice I get on the boards, but I am more grateful for the folks who lend a real shoulder to cry on and for those real hugs I get in times of need and the real shoulder and real hugs I can give in return.

Whatever works for you and everyone else is what works.

I still don't think that anyone should be pleaded with to return to a board they are unhappy with. I think private messages are the way to go with that .... Oh well ......... I wish you the best in "friendship".

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