Jump to content
Dogomania

Possibly funniest ever dog story...


Recommended Posts

This came in on a draft dog list I'm on. It was originally forwarded from a Siberian Husky list. Not sure who had the honor of originally composing the message, but they sure can tell a story!

>>Me and the girls (my packhiking sammies and my min-pin, who could
be thefirst packhiking min-pin ever) have seen some incredible
things when we go packhiking. The story is somewhat graphic in
nature, so I've left a lot of that kind of stuff out. Use your own
imagination.

We were hoofing it through the Cleveland metroparks with about two
miles left on our ten mile hike, and we came up to a picnic pavilion
area. Off to the left were several portable toilets, porta potties,
and one was being used in a very unusual fashion. There was some
sort of training cart parked next to the porta potty, with four
Siberian husky-malamute looking dogs in harnesses, all hooked to one
gang line (I think that is what it is called).

The gang line was probably 20 feet long, and went directly into the
door of the porta potty. The dogs were not hooked to the training
cart at all, so it appeared they were out on a port o' let sled
riding mission. I can only assume there was no way to anchor the
cart and dogs while the driver was taking care of business, so she
got the brilliant idea to just take the gang line into the porta
potty and hold on to the dogs while she accomplished her goal.

You are probably thinking the exact same thoughts I was when I saw
this little set up: Recipe for disaster. And of course this story
wouldn't really be worth typing if it ended with the woman coming
out and driving off with her dogs into the sunset.

I am fishing for my digital camera to take a picture of the porta
potty-pulling team when my dogs yank their leashes, almost toppling
me over. A squirrel has decided to stop nearby, pick up a nut and
chow it while my three dogs watch. So far the four sled dogs haven't
seen the squirrel, but it is only a matter of time, as my dogs are
doing the "If I wasn't on this leash I would kick that squirrel's
a##" dance.

Sure enough, the potty pullers' heads all snap to the direction of
the squirrel, and they all appear to get the same idea as my three
straining at their leashes. My dogs see those dogs spot the
squirrel, and some sort of dog tribal hunting nonverbal
communication thing happens, as every one of the seven dogs on
either end of the field realizes that its pretty much a race to see
which of the two groups can get to the squirrel faster. My dogs
redouble their pulling efforts, and the four dog sled team reacted as
one, and lunged full steam for the squirrel.

The porta potty sort of spins about 30 degrees and rocks like the
dickens. Luckily, it doesn't tip over, but kind of rocks back and
forth a time or two and then rights itself. Well, that is just
unacceptable to the sled team, and they give another huge yank. The
porta potty spins yet again, and from inside some sort of human
screech occurs.

The screech seemed to slow the sled dogs down and they settled into a
nervous stand. At this point the squirrel decided the dogs weren't
going to get him so he started doing some kind of "na,na,na can't
get me" dance, infuriating the porta potty pullers. If you ever
wondered why dog sleds are built long and low to the ground, as
opposed to small and tall, like, say --- the shape of a porta potty,
you need no longer wonder if this is a design flaw.

Anyhow, the pulling and barking started up again. The porta potty
did its best to stay standing, rocking heavily back and forth. The
dogs, sensing victory, forgot completely about the squirrel, and
started timing their pulls with the rocking, and of course
triumphantly gave one last tug and yanked the porta potty over. For
some reason, they just stopped pulling after the port potty settled
on the ground.

(I'm not sure what happened to the squirrel at this point, although
if he was anything like that insurance commercial where the two
squirrels make the car wreck and high five each other, then my guess
is he ran off into the woods to get his friends so he could show
them what he'd accomplished.)

From the port potty came a series of cuss words unrepeatable in this
story, so I figured I'd better see if I could help. The port potty
unfortunately had landed face down, meaning the door was now the
bottom.

I tied my dogs to a tree, and ventured toward the port o let. I
asked if the occupant was OK. She said yes, in a lot more colorful
and verbal way than just yes, but for the purposes of this story
we'll just say she said yes.

The port potty hadn't fared as well. You could tell it was hurt
because there was a lot of blue fluid leaking from it. I told the
woman that I would have to roll the port potty on its side to get
the door open and she should find something to hang on to. Well a
couple good shoves later, the thing rolled 90 degrees and the door
was exposed.

The door opened and out crawled a blue mama smurf, covered with the
blue blood of the dying port potty. Her dogs came running and
decided she needed a bath. About this point she realized that step
10 in the bathroom process entitled "put your pants back on" had
been skipped, so she disappeared back into the port potty.

Well, she was in absolutely no mood to talk about her ride on the
wild side, which I didn't blame her, so she got the short version of
what had happened outside and I spared her the indignity of having
to recite what happened from inside. I helped her hook her dogs back
up to the cart looking thing, and off she went, glowing blue as she
went drove down the path and back into the woods.

I can't imagine what all the other visitors thought as they walked
serenely through the park and were passed by a pissed off blue smurf
and her merry band of blue-tongued dogs.<<

Link to post
Share on other sites

[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0WgAFAxodY1km38xsxaLYcCHMWhUoh27mNDoJ00r6O2zNm!MSSgJaMul3vpYWZfH1MRPsS!Vti*oBm!i5NF5Hr4KRblIzNLwqrCNtF3OiWztUjobJn7*NUC76unMiuakxjEuNV5C2nwg/hahaha.gif?dc=4675441322206333973[/img]
[img]http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0YADlAlEf!iVU2utpmjpjlQIxYIJzbQpvVxzO!mUmt!sd0XshqGS4a5uyXWeAbUH1zC1qyC*9b7CnDeg5PQl!z1sX4Ll22WvG8NJ5lbsCiWUnmhLG0Eo7CoAkeVWr!*S!9NxfJqfxtrTXch0CTW96aQ/LOLdalmatian.gif?dc=4675441322233673826[/img]

Link to post
Share on other sites

someone emailed that to me at work, and I was laughing for an hour! the storyteller puts really good visuals in the tale, yu can SEE it all happening.
and yes, I was definitely reminded of the insurance commercial, with the squirrels high-fiving each other after they caused a car to wreck....


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Announcements

×
×
  • Create New...