Ickle Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 Sent from the Internet (Details) This might make you smile > Subject: Letters Dogs Write to God > > >Dear God, > >Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? > >Where are their priorities? > > > >Dear God, > >When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story? > > > >Dear God, > >Why are cars named for the eagle, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, the rabbit, etc., but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? > > > >Dear God, > >If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? > > > >Dear God, > >If we come back as humans, is that good or bad? > > > >Dear God, > >More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. > > > >Dear God, > >When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to shake hands to get in? > > > >Dear God, > >Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the Schnauzer across the street. > > > >Dear God, > >Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? > > > >Dear God, > >We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? > > > >Dear God, > >May I have my testicles back? > > > >Dear God, > >These are just some of the things I must remember (in order to keep my present living arrangements): > >- The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. > >- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. > >- I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa or under the bed. > >- I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. > >- I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. > >- I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick. > >- I will not throw up in the car. > >- I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. > >- I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. > >- I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the back yard after processing. > >- I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them. > >- I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. > >- When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside. > >- We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on television. > >- I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the backyard with them. > >- The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps. > >- My head does not belong in the refrigerator. > >- I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. > >- I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. > >- I will not roll around in the dirt right after getting a bath. > >- Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.' > >- I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over. > >- The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. Ickle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_nea Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I love that last cat one! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheltielover Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 so cute.... :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouseatthebusstop Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 :D :roflt: :D :roflt: :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 :lol: :lol: I saw this one before, but a bit different. The things the dog won't do I saw as a [i]different[/i] joke. Then at the bottom of the Dogs Letters To God there was "Cat's Letters to God" and it was like: "Dear God, Do you really exist? I don't really care, I'm just curious." :lol: :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 Too funny! :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosebud Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: Thanks, :angel: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowie-the-Pooh Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 [quote]Dear God, May I have my testicles back? [/quote] :lol: :lol: :lol: Love that one! :lol: TOO FUNNY! And the cat one was a classic! :lol: :lol: Thanks Ickle! :wink: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen Posted May 21, 2003 Share Posted May 21, 2003 :roflt: :megagrin: :haha: :grins: :jumpie: :laugh2_2: :banan: :thumbs: :multi: :P :B-fly: i especialy like the one about eating what`s been deposited in the cats litter tray :eating: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadyLady Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: loved the will not stand up under the coffee table :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtnek Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 I dont have a coffee table, but Alex was so tall at the shoulder that if he stood up under the dining room table it was precarious!! :D The kitty box one applies here... and the cat with the attitude - DEFINITELY MY cat!! :lol: :lol: :lol: (one of my close friends calls it "cattitude...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadyLady Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Courtnek what is it about kitty dung that dogs adore its so off :-? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abker17 Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 That definatly made me smile!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Anonymous Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 [quote]I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell. [/quote] lmao, that one made me laugh so hard, it gave me a visual of mimi... shes a roller... she will swipe her face against any icky thing outside..and then have the nerve to want a kissy no way! EEEwwww :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
courtnek Posted May 26, 2003 Share Posted May 26, 2003 [quote]Courtnek what is it about kitty dung that dogs adore its so off [/quote] I WISH I knew! LOL - then maybe I could figure out how to make it less appealing.... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama A.J. Posted May 27, 2003 Share Posted May 27, 2003 I love it, surely did make me smile!!! :D :D :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellieangel Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 Brilliant !!! Made me laugh out loud !! :lol: :biggrina: :cunao: :laugh2_2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aroura Posted May 28, 2003 Share Posted May 28, 2003 HAHAHAHA -------- I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: I'll have one Beagle Chrysler please :wink: Oh, and that dream Ducatti I've always wanted (that one Trinity was riding in The Matris Reloaded...) ...... forget that, I'll take a Dudoggi!!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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