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Guest Anonymous

It's been almost a year

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Guest Anonymous
December 4th of last year I brought Smudge home as a "What the hell do I do now and how do I explain to my husband I left with 4 kittens and am coming back with 2 kittens and a puppy!". Oh yeah the perfect plan "Happy early birthday baby" to my hubby and he was sold!

It was on December 12th that he wouldn't eat and had his first bought of bloody stool and vomit and I started praying he had a serious case of worms. It never crossed my mind that it would be parvo. I thought worms because he never felt bad or at least he never acted like it.

It was on the 13th that hubby took the day off of work to take him to the vet and I got the call at work. The Parvo test came back positive. I begged my vet to try and save him. Doc said he thought Smudge had carried the parvo for a while before showing signs. He then told me there is an aggressive strain of Parvo that doesn't show signs until it's too late. We were still willing to sell off everything we owned to save a dog we'd only had 9 days and still didn't know if we wanted to keep him (yeah right...hubby may not have known but I did). Doc said he had a 40% chance of living and the treatment would be rough. Doc was blunt and honest with me...he didn't have a lot of hope for Smudge.

We opted not to put him through the pain and suffering but to let him pass peacefully to the bridge.

I was just reading the post I made that day and realized I said I would never have another puppy in the house. I thank god that I have concrete floors and bleach them weekly and it's too cold to take the little ones outside because if something happened to them because I actually forgot WHY Smudge was gone. I never forget that he is gone just sometimes why.

It was also a year ago on 17th that hubby's Little Girl left him.

Is it any wonder with all that has happened and all that has been lost in the last year that I spent today crying. I didn't realize why (I thought it was because worked sucked, can't get the house fixed and my trip to see hubby is not likely to happen since my van is sitting dead in my drive way) but I was laying here in bed and remembered with a heartbreaking jolt that at this time last year I would have been being trampled by Mac and Smudge playing.

I still haven't figured out why Smudge was brought to us and why we lost him so soon and so young. Maybe it was to stregthen my resolve to never allow another puppy in my house. Well it didn't work :-)

Thank you all for letting me have my pitty party here. I guess it's only fair now to show you pictures of that special boy who walked into my home and made himself an instant part of our family.

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/JTDinger/smudgeajfram3.jpg[/img]

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/JTDinger/smudgeajframe2.jpg[/img]

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/JTDinger/IM001487.jpg[/img]

[img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/JTDinger/IM001476.jpg[/img]

For some reason I can't find pictures of Little Girl. They maybe on hubby's computer.

I'm sorry to spend so much time whining but he left a hole that I thought had healed. I guess it didn't.

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Oh goodness.. it sure doesnt seem like a year. :( I'm so sorry... its rough. I still get crying about Mocha, even though its been a year and a half. Today my mom asked if she could move her stuff (picture, ashes, sympathy cards, her collar) to a diff room, to put up Christmas decorations.. I just shook my head no and almost lost it completely. Its so hard loosing someone you love.. We only had her for 9 months. Its not fair to have them go so soon. :cry:

Stay strong, hun. No need to say sorry for posting. Thats what we're here for. :wink:

*** HUGS ***

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well i don't remmember Smudgie because i only joined at this time....
but a year is nothing when you loosing sombody you loved, you can't forget a friend so fast it takes much longet than that and he's never completly forgoten no matter how'll try....
i had a female 12 years ago that died in front of my eyes in car accsident, i still remmber her is it was last year and i still can't go near this place without so pain in my heart :cry:

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The pain of losing them never truly goes away does it? It'll be three years in a couple weeks since I lost Koda, but it seems like no time at all. Maybe because they never truly leave us, never leave our hearts. Losing them has to be the hardest time of pet ownership ever, sometimes I'm not sure why we'd put ourselves through it. But its worth it, even for the short amount of time they're with us.

What a gorgeous girl she was, and I know she's playing happily at the bridge, waiting.

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It's so true that time passes and dulls the ache, but all it takes is one clear memory and it all comes flooding back full strength. I think we've all experience that sharp recall. :cry:

My boys and I are thinking of you today, Tammy.

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Oh Tammy }}}}hug{{{{ - I know exactly, how you feel. :cry: :cry:
I lost two dogs this year. One of old age, and one to cancer way too early in his life.......... I still cry, and I will never forget them. They died within two weeks of each other, and they were best friends in life, and it seemed, my boy gave up on fighting for his life, when his girl left him. :cry:

Old proverb says, that as long as they live in our hearts and memories, they are still around. :wink:

[quote]
We have a secret, you and I
that no one else shall know,
for who but I can see you lie
each night in the fire glow?

An who but I can reach my hand
befor we go to bed
and feel the living warmth of you
and touch your silken head?

And only I walk woodland paths
and see ahead of me
your small form racing with the wind
so young again, and free.

And only I can see you swim,
in every brook I pass.

And when I call no one but I
can see the bending grass.

[/quote]

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Guest Anonymous
Thank you all.

I think part of the reason it has hit me so hard is that I only had him 9 days and I still morn him but August 9th of last year I put my dear companion Ariel down (she had demtia according to the vet and was becoming more aggressive with people and dogs) and it didn't hurt me when that anniversary passed. I don't know if it's because I knew it was her time or not. Smudge haunts me for some unknown reason.

Thank you again for the support.

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[quote name='Lucky Chaos']The pain of losing them never truly goes away does it? It'll be three years in a couple weeks since I lost Koda, but it seems like no time at all. Maybe because they never truly leave us, never leave our hearts. Losing them has to be the hardest time of pet ownership ever, sometimes I'm not sure why we'd put ourselves through it. But its worth it, even for the short amount of time they're with us.

What a gorgeous girl she was, and I know she's playing happily at the bridge, waiting.[/quote]

Sorry, handsome boy, not girl. One of my hamsters is named Smudge, so I guess I assumed. :wink:

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[quote name='Tammy']Thank you all.

I think part of the reason it has hit me so hard is that I only had him 9 days and I still morn him but August 9th of last year I put my dear companion Ariel down (she had demtia according to the vet and was becoming more aggressive with people and dogs) and it didn't hurt me when that anniversary passed. I don't know if it's because I knew it was her time or not. Smudge haunts me for some unknown reason.

Thank you again for the support.[/quote]

........that's exactly the way I feel about my two dogs. My dachsi was 16 years old and had a wonderful life. My standard poodle was fighting one disease after another for eight years, and I couldn't write down his "story" without sobbing through it. He finally died of cancer, one disease nobody knew he had. :cry:

I feel with you............... :( :( :( :(

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It's really hard to understand why good people like you get dealt such a crappy hand. It does make you stronger in a lot of ways and it does build character. It doesnt seem like a fair trade off, but at least you do get something.

It is really hard to do, and I am not the person to tell you this, because I have to struggle with it at times myself; but, dont ever loose site of what is important in life. Life, health, love, family, friends, these are the things that matter. I know you are blessed with a lot of friends here, including me. Some people have no one.

I really sincerely hope that this will be your best Christmas ever. I hope you will find something that makes you smile, something that makes you laugh, and someting that makes you feel very lucky.

You certainly have been through a lot and you have taken it all better than most. Dont let life's bad experiences take your spirit. When you loose that, GAME OVER.


I'll be rooting for you and if you ever need a friend, Im an email away.

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