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Dogomania

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Crested

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Doesn't everybody love Bart Simpson? Have you ever wonderd what he has written on the blackboard at school everytime The Simpsons start? Here's a list:

[quote]I will not waste chalk

I will not skateboard in the halls

I will not burp in class

I will not instigate revolution

I will not draw naked ladies in class

I did not see Elvis

I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"

Garlic gum is not funny

They are laughing at me, not with me

I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom

I will not encourage others to fly

I will not fake my way through life

Tar is not a play thing

I will not Xerox my butt

It's potato, not potatoe

I will not trade pants with others

I am not a 32 year old woman

I will not do that thing with my tongue

I will not drive the principal's car

I will not pledge allegiance to Bart

I will not sell school property

I will not cut corners

I will not get very far with this attitude

I will not make flatulent noises in class

I will not belch the National Anthem

I will not sell land in Florida

I will not grease the monkey bars

I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment

I will not do anything bad ever again

I will not show off

I will not sleep through my education

I am not a dentist

Spitwads are not free speech

Nobody likes sunburn slappers

High explosives and school don't mix

I will not bribe Principal Skinner

I will not squeak chalk

I will finish what I star

"Bart Bucks" are not legal tender

Underwear should be worn on the inside

The Christmas Pageant does not stink

I will not torment the emotionally frail

I will not carve gods

I will not spank others

I will not aim for the head

I will not barf unless I'm sick

I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty

I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge

I will not conduct my own fire drills

Funny noises are not funny

I will not snap bras

I will not fake seizures

This punishment is not boring and pointless

My name is not Dr. Death

I will not defame New Orleans

I will not prescribe medication

I will not bury the new kid

I will not teach others to fly

I will not bring sheep to class

A burp is not an answer

Teacher is not a leper

Coffee is not for kids

I will not eat things for money

I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call

The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee

I will not call the principal "spud head"

Goldfish don't bounce

Mud is not one of the 4 food groups

No one is interested in my underpants

I will not sell miracle cures

I will return the seeing-eye dog

I do not have diplomatic immunity

I will not charge admission to the bathroom

I will never win an Emmy

The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy

All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy

I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause

I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers

My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man

I will not go near the kindergarten turtle

I am not deliciously saucy

Organ transplants are best left to the professionals

The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones There are plenty of businesses
like show business

I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major League
Baseball

Five days is not too long to wait for a gun

Beans are neither fruit nor musical[/quote]

...And by the time you have read all of this you are 123 years old... :o

/Crest

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Well... I guess everyone loves Seinfeld... or loveD... Well here's some quotes about DOGS! Enjoy!

[quote]A dog will stay stupid. That's why we love them so much. The entire time we know them, they're idiots. Think of your dog. Everytime you come home , he thinks it's amazing. He has no idea how you accomplish this every day. You walk in the door, the joy of this experience overwhelms him. He looks at you, HE'S BACK, IT'S THAT GUY, THAT SAME GUY. He can't believe it. Everything is amazing to your dog. ANOTHER CAN OF FOOD? I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

Dogs want to be people. That's what their lives are about. They don't like being a dog. They're with people all the time, they want to graduate. My dog would sit there all day, he would watch me walk by, he would think to himself, I COULD DO THAT! HE'S NOT THAT GOOD.

That's why the greatest, most exciting moment in the life of a dog is the front seat of your car. You and him in the front seat. It's the only place where your head and his are on the exact same level. He sits up there, he thinks, THIS IS MORE LIKE IT. YOU AND ME TOGETHER, THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE. He looks out the front. What's he looking at? He's a dog. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE - A RIGHT OR A LEFT? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE I AM.

They have a hard time. They stand up, they sit down, they can't handle the turn either way. No matter which way you turn, he's not ready. They don't know what to do. And then comes the great moment of frustration. You stop someplace and get something to eat. This kills him. You get a hamburger, this blows his mind. INSTANT FOOD WHENEVER YOU WANT IT? You know what this means to him? You ever see the look on his face? He looks over at you. HOW'D YOU GET THAT? ARE THEY GIVING IT TO EVERYBODY NOW? YOU THINK I COULD GET ONE? They can't get anything.

Dogs have no money. Isn't that amazing? They're broke their entire lives. But they get through. You know why dogs have no money?

No pockets.
[/quote]

/Crest

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like the bart simpson black board stuff :lol: , at the start of every episode of the simpsons i always have a look to see what barts written on the board :lol:
[color=blue]crested[/color],how did you get the pic of the great dane from one of my links to appear so we could see it without using the link?.....i`d love to know how to do it :D

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