what do I do??

[mommacat]

I know I haven't been on here much lately, but to tell you the truth, I have a problem and didn't really want to bring it up here, because I know how devoted you all are to your dogs and I think I know how you would all feel, but I am at my wit's end and don't know what to do.
Here is my problem - Maya.
Most of you know I have a Japanese Spitz named Maya that we got in June, she is almost 8 months old. She is REALLY smart, and loves to please, and I really love her. The problem is, she is SO hyper, and doesn't really want to listen to anyone but me. She is never aggressive, just hyper. She will jump on the kids when playing, and occasionally scratches them. That's not really the big problem, though. She is always trying to keep herself busy, and CONSTANTLY chews up paper, gets in the garbage, grabs stuff from the kids rooms, and goes in and out AT LEAST 25 times a day! We crate-trained her, and she is fine if she is in the rooms we are in, but we can't trust her to go to any of the other rooms, we have to keep a baby gate up and the basement door shut, which doesnt' work because then the cat can't get to her litter box in the basement. Maya also won't really eat her food until she it has sat for a day or 2, and she is ALWAYS stealing food from us, she gets on the table, the counter, the garbage, and has even opened a cupboard door and taken food out! I have tried a couple of different kinds of food, and nothing really helps. I even bought the kind my mom feeds her dog, because Maya always eats it at her house, and she won't eat it at home. We don't give her scraps at all, so its not that she's waiting for that. We also can't take her places. We go to stay at my parent's house in Wisconsin for holidays, and she gets along well with thier dog (they drive us crazy with thier playing!) but we can't trust her AT ALL there, she will pee on the floor when we are standing right there.
I have really worked with this dog, and was hoping to train her for agility. I haven't got her spayed yet, because I read on here that you spay them early to keep the puppy-ness, and since we'd like her calmer, I was going to wait so that hopefully it would calm her down. She hasn't had a heat yet.
I know I could handle waiting for her to grow up and settle down, but my husband is getting to where he REALLY doesn't like her, and I am sick of listening to him complain about her. I know she needs more excersize, but we can't have a fence where we are, and I can't trust her to take her anywhere and let her run. I walked her a lot when the weather was nicer, but that didn't seem to help.
Like I said, I really love this girl, but I seem to be the only one that does, and I am tired of living in a house where I continually feel guilty for having her.
What do I do? do I give in to him and get rid of her? I really don't want to, but I know she'd be happier if she could be somewhere where she could run more, but she also needs humans, as she loves us so. Would i be making it worse for her to separate her from me since she is so attached to me? I don't think it is good for her to live where someone is always mad at her, though. It breaks my heart, because she tries so hard to please him.
Don't think my hubby is a bad person, he is a really nice guy, he just likes a clean and peaceful house, and she seems to be always disturbing the house. He also grew up in a family where it was ok to get rid of a pet if they didn't work out, where I didn't, I believe you keep the pet for life. I also don't want to teach our kids that it is ok to get rid of something, but I want all of us, including Maya, to be happy.
WHAT DO I DO???????
sorry if I rambled, I guess I needed to get this out.
If no one wants to answer cuz I've been gone for a while, I understand.
Thanks for any help.

[Guest Anonymous]

Try Doggy Prozac.. I've heard great thingsa bout it, and after the holidays Cody is gong to get on it for his aggression problems, the vet said it will help take the EDGE of him... i'm excited. you should look in to it..
it's like $8.00 a month

[Snow]

It sounds to me like your dog just needs more structured daily exercise and training sessions. You said that you walked her some when the weather was nice which leads me to assume that you are not walking her now that the weather is cooler. She is probably hyper because she has so much pent up energy. If I miss one day of exercise with my dog he will drive me crazy. I walk at least 4 miles briskly every day even in weather that is so cold my nose hairs freeze. Then we play and later we bike ride. Exercise is a huge part of the responsibility of dog ownership. Otherwise the dog is going to amuse itself and get into trouble as you are witnessing first hand.

You should also do daily obedience sessions, even if for just 15 minutes. This is great for mental stimulation and it will get the dogs house manners under control. In the meantime, puppy proof your house so that the pup can't can into things he shouldn't.

A fenced yard is not going to make alot of difference. I have one and unless I am out there throwing a ball, the dog does not exercise himself.

I think you would see a remarkable difference if you made sure the dog was walked every day with some play time and obedience. Maybe you can convince your husband to alternate days with you to exercise the dog. I hope you can work it out.

[Aonir]

Ok, Japanese Spitz and American Eskimos are so much alike. They are naturally engergetic dogs. They need to have a LONG walk daily and plenty of chew toys and playtime. Im having problems with Amaya - she loves pencils(and PENS!), kitty-litter 'snacks', and any type of paper. She also has a high barking problem which I have NO idea how to cure. She loves water, and if you tell her NO the more she barks, and if you say nothing she'll just keep barking. All the Eskies I've met are very hyper(or engergetic) and barky - it might be a special trait lol.

Anyway, just keep in mind they are highly active dogs and should NEVER be left home alone. You'll lose school papers and your favorite pen... Including chunks of carpet.

I know the cold isn't going to want you to talk her, but they LOVE snow. Go play with the snow or have kids play with the snow with the doggie. You could get another dog and keep her company ;)

[courtnek]

this is a working dog, she needs exercise or she misbehaves, as you've seen. You could try a dog run in the yard (if you have a yard) where you attach a metal line to two structures, and then clip a 6 foot leash onto it
It allows them to run back and forth, and kinda to the left and right,
without escape. However, you need to watch them to make sure no
neighbor loose dogs come in, becasue she cant escape this way. Maybe
this will ease some of her exercise frustration. I hate to say it, but if she
cant get the exercis she needs you might need to rehome her. These dogs need to work, and run, and have something constructive to do....

Best of luck to you

p/s/ I used the dog run for my malamute mix, and it worked wonders...

[schippsmom]

:Dog_run:

I also used to own Eskimos. What a bundle of energy they were. It is funny though, it seems that somewhere between two and 2 1/2 years they tend to mellow out some. A good friend of mine just experienced that, she thought I was kidding when I first told her. But he really mellowed out. They do need to have lots of exercise every day to wear them out. I actually got back in shape when I had them. Now I let my dog run because I know he will come back.

Yes, they are also very smart dogs and they will test everyone in the house. My Schipperke does that now, he knows we won't tolerate it but he has to see what he can get away with, just like my 14 year old. I never give in to him and ALWAYS make him do what I asked, even if I'm tired and just want to go to bed. Basically tough love, just like my 14 year old.

Please don't just give the dog away, that is so wrong. Be consistant and firm and in time Maya will calm down.

[Guest Anonymous]

your dog sounds like mine.

i can only agree with the other people's opinions, a structured daily schedule with set times for meals, exercise (time spent in the yard without someone to for example play fetch doesn't count!) and training is the most likely thing to help your very energetic dog. it's probably not what you want to hear, and yes it does involve a lot of work, but that comes with owning a high-energy animal.

i don't know what you are feeding, but you also might want to consider some changes in her diet. depending on the ranking of the ingredients on the glycemic index, the stimulation of insulin production could be an issue. a food that has a lower carbohydrate content and is based on pearled barley, oatmeal or brown rice instead of corn, white rice, potatoes or millet would be beneficial in this case.

don't be afraid of the dog gaining weight if you feed a food that is higher in fat and protein but lower in carbohydrates - as long as you do not change the daily intake of calories, this is not an issue at all.

all in all i recommend you exhaust options like increased exercise, diet changes and maybe a homeopathic product before you look into the "problem solving by drugs". if you don't have the time or energy to meet your dog's exercise needs, maybe you can hire a dog walker?

[Guest Mutts4Me]

[quote name='schippsmom']
Please don't just give the dog away, that is so wrong. Be consistant and firm and in time Maya will calm down.[/quote]

It's not wrong if it's the best thing for the dog. If the dog's needs cannot be meant in her current home, and the owners are willing to put effort into finding her a more suitable home, then that's not wrong, it's right. (Taking a puppy to a shelter because it's hyper would be wrong, but I don't think that's what she meant)

A coworker of mine had a similar problem this summer, except hers was accidental. Her mother kind of forced a rott mix on her as a birthday present, and she was not prepared for a dog. But the kids loved the puppy, so her and her husband decided to try to keep it. But they faced many of the same problems, with the hyperness and all that.

And her husband began to resent the dog, and made no secret about it. So much so that their daughter, who'd kind of taken the puppy as her own, went to her mom, my coworker, and said that she'd rather have the puppy go to someone else than to have her dad yelling at and about it all the time. And since neither of the adults was willing or able to take the puppy to obedience classes or even work on home training, the puppy was not disciplined (in a proper method) and they eventually found her a home with a huge yard and other dogs to play with.

So in some cases, rehoming is the best option for the dog. I'm not saying that should be done in this case (I'm not a dog expert). But I do think that the situation warrants some structured training and exercise for everyone's benefit, and if that cannot be provided, then perhaps finding her a new home would be something to seriously consider.

Best of Luck

[Guest Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. To address some of the issues brought up.

[quote](Taking a puppy to a shelter because it's hyper would be wrong, but I don't think that's what she meant)[/quote]
NO - I would NEVER take her to a shelter. I would do my best to find her a home, one in which she could run, but also get human attention, I DO NOT want her to be an outside dog, she's too sweet for that.

No, I don't get a chance to walk her everyday. I try, but schedules don't work out that way, and my lungs can't handle walking outside once it gets below 15 or 20 degrees - asthma.

[quote]Im having problems with Amaya - she loves pencils(and PENS!), kitty-litter 'snacks', and any type of paper.[/quote]
OH MY GOD< AONIR - that is EXACTLY the 3 top things for Maya, too!!
I didnt' realize spitz were such active dogs, thier activity level on here is listed as moderate, medium, and town living. This is exactly the same as the miniature schnauzer, and our schnauzer was fine with the dog run in the yard and an occaisional walk. Now, I know each dog has its own personality, but I've lived with 5 schnauzers, and have been family to 5 more, and NONE of them were so energetic that they needed to be excersized that much each day to not get in trouble.

I DO work with her on training every day, she and I both love it, so we do it quite a bit. Like I said, she listens to me pretty well, just not anyone else. The kids try to work with her, but get frustrated easily when she won' t listen to them, and she is always looking for me to see what to do, even if I am not in the same room.
For whoever said that they need to walk thier dog 4 miles a day, I think that is teriffic that you can do that, but that is not going to happen here. I'd love to say I'd do it for her, but if I am being realistic, I know I won't - I'm not home long enough some days to do that. Also, I live in a town of 500 people, there are no dog walkers, or anyone I could pay to do it. Don't even mention my husband doing it, it won't fly.

No one addressed the pottying when she is not at home. That really bothers me, as she is ruining my mom's carpets. SHe is better here, but to tell the truth, I've had dogs before, always trained them the same, and never had a dog that I coulnd't trust in the house after about 6 months. Most were trained way before that.

One of the main problems is that it is not ME that is that frustrated with her, I feel she will grow out of a lot of this, it is my husband that is constantly upset with her, and that makes it miserable for all of us.

I will try the taking the food away trick and see if that works for her eating problem, and will try to get her walked more. I know someone said she'd love it outside in the snow, but she really doesn't . If I could trust her more outside, I know she'd like to play fetch, I do have a 30 foot lead for her, maybe we could try fetch on that . We live next to a busy road, so I am always afraid to let her off lead.

Thanks for all of your suggestions, and for not condemning me immediately for considering re-homing her. That's why I was afraid to bring up the subject on here.

[Snow]

Hello. It is me again...the one who walks 4 miles a day. :D

With respect to the potty problem, your pup probably has not generalized the behavior outside of his home. People incorrectly assume that just because a dog understands a behavior in their home that the dog also understands the behavior elsewhere. A dog must be taught a behavior in several different places before it will generalize the command to every place. For example, your dog might know how to sit in your living room. But if you take him to a shopping mall he won't necessarily understand. You have to teach the command at home, in the yard, down the block, with every type of distraction starting from scratch and then the dog will generalize the command to everywhere. So my guess is that your dog doesn't understand that he can't potty inside ANYBODY's house. Right now he only knows that he can't potty inside his house. So you have to teach him. That means watching him every second while visiting so that you can catch him, say NO and rush him outside. At this point since he is already housbroken in your house, he should learn and generalize quickly.

And while we are on the subject of visiting, you have to exercise the dog before you bring him to someone's house. With all of the excitement you can't expect a 8 mo old pup to be calm. Make sure he is tired.

As for your children being frustrated, speak to them in a foreign language and then yell at them for not doing what you are telling them. Then they will understand what the dog feels like. He is not listening to them because he doesn't understand the command they are giving or he doesn't respect their authority or perhaps there are too many distractions. You should work with them and only have them give a command that the dog already knows under every circumstance including under distractions.

Lastly, you don't have to walk 4 miles. I told you what I did to point out that in rain, sun, snow or sleet, a dog has to have daily exercise. You can walk 1 mile once or twice a day assuming your asthma is not affected. That is really not very far. A tired dog is a happy and good dog.

[kendalyn]

Can the kids walk the dog? It might be a good way to get her bonded to them as well. Maybe you and the kids could take turns doing it. :-)

[Autumn]

After reading through all the advise, I have to say that *Snow* is right on with what she has said.

You do not want to give Maya *doggie Prozac*. Drugs can be and often are very harmful to dogs, plus drugs will not solve the underlying problem, which is not enough exercise/training. Solve the underlying *problem*, and the problem will be solved!

I live in a [i]very cold[/i] (try -20 and lower) winter climate, but like Snow I take my dogs out for a daily run no matter what. The cold bother's my lungs also, but I wear a face mask so I am not breathing in the cold air. There are also masks made specifically for people with Asthma/empysems.

Another problem I see is that you have children, and puppies and children so many times do not *mix* in the sense that the children's activity will stimulate the puppy and make them more hyper. The kids run around, the puppy follows, becoming more excited. I got one of my current dogs (an Aussie) because she was outside alone in the yard all the time, and when the owner's children would go out to play, she would chase them and grab their clothing and nip at their hands.

Do not tie your dog outside no matter what. If she is tied, even on a *zip* line, and the children are running around etc., she will become frantic to run with them and this can quickly turn to aggression.

I also wouldn't depend on the children to walk Maya for you. There are many cases where dogs who were being walked by children have bitten people, plus the children will not be teaching Maya the things she has to learn.

I am never in favor of just *getting rid of* a dog, but in a case like yours, where you don't feel you can meet her needs, I think it is the best thing to do for her. I would contact an Am. Eskimo/Spitz Rescue in your area. They will put her in a foster home and assess her and then place her in a home she will be completely compatible with, which she is not with you.

But then, please DO NOT go out and get another dog. At least not a young dog.

[Black GSD]

I agree with Autunm.,

And also say, No drugs!

I really think that rehoming her might be the best for all involved.
IMO, it is NOT going to teach your kids that you just "throw away" pets. It will teach them to do what is best for the PET even if it is hard on the owner. Not only do yu have a "wild puppy", you have a wild "teenage" puppy which is 1000x worse!

It sounds to me like you already think that rehoming her would be best for all involved. If that is what you decide to do. Do NOT let anyone make you feel guilty. It takes a big person to do what is best for the pet. It is obvoius that you love her and want HER to be happy.

[mommacat]

Thanks, GSD for that vote of confidence.

I think the point missed by most people on here is that I am ok with her, it is my husband that is really frustrated with her, and has gotten to the point where anything she does annoys him.
My frustration is that I've had many dogs, always at least one or 2, and have trained them all since I was about 13, and have never had such a problem as I am having with her. She's also very smart, which makes it even more frustrating!
I am dissapointed in myself because i did so much research before we got this dog, and we were sure that it was the right type for us.

Snow - a few things I would like to clear up from your posts. When I say she won't listen to my children (who are 7 and 10), they work with her in a quiet place, giving her only the commands she already knows, and I have trained THEM in the correct way to work with her. They only did this at first with me in the room, but that proved to be too big of a distraction, so now I go into the next room when they work with her.

Now - get this!
I was home with Maya and the kids all day on Saturday, and she was fine. Went outside 2times in the morining, then not again until about 3:00, slept for 3 hours in her kennel, and was not hyper at all. But - when she's home with my husband during the day (he works wierd shifts!) she is never like that. It's like as soon as she sees him, she has to go outside, even though he's not usually the one who lets her out! What is up with that? Does she just want to please him so much that she gets WAY more hyper when he's around? I have really started to watch what gets her going, and it really seems to be worse when he's around.

[Autumn]

mommacat, I think Maya is reacting to knowing that your husband is upset with her. Dogs can sense things even if we are trying hard not to show our feelings.

I too feel it would be best to rehome Maya, but if you do not surrender her to a breed rescue, make sure the new owner's are very dog saavy and will train her etc.

[Snow]

Yes I agree it sounds like stress. And that is a huge distraction for the dog.

When you say hyper, does she continuously walk around and sniff the ground when he is home? I am curious because sniffing the ground is one of many calming signals that dogs use to diffuse what they consider to be a stressful situation. Do you ever notice that when you get frustrated during training a dog will sniff the ground. You think the dog is ignoring you but in actuality the dog knows you are upset and is trying to calm things. Other dogs understand this body language but not many humans do. I wish you the best of luck in making whatever decision is best for your family and your beautiful pooch.

[courtnek]

Snow has an excellent point. She senses that your husband is irritated with her, and may be trying to calm the tense situation. She also may not feel completely comfortable around him, and is displaying a form of fear
hyperactivity...some frightened dogs (like mine) will pace back and forth when the person they are frightened of is around. Laurel does that. If I am in the room, she will lay down under the desk and is comfortable, but if my son's friends (and sometimes my son, if he is being really loud) will send her into pacing mode....I think she is uneasy because she wants to
like him, but is afraid of him at the same time. Does she then calm down when you come in? It may actually be a fear issue (which Laurel is teaching me alot about!)

[DogPaddle]

It does sound like stress, see if you can see what makes it worse and mention it to your husband.

The other suggestion will still help with stress.
Excercise doesn't have to be outside if you really can't manage it. I do try to take the boys out for a walk everyday but that isn't that much excercise really, for real excercise they need a good play session outdoors, Zaphod is untrustworthy so he has to do his on a longline (we only have a tiny yard.) If the weather is really nasty or Kavik needs some extra excercise to manage his energy level/work drive, we play fetch indoors for an hour or so - I can do this in the evening in front of the TV if needs be. Kavik is happy to do this and will return the ball right to my lap so it works out well. Also keep up the obedience it is almost certainly helpful. At the point the stress is getting to her try another quick 5 min session. Maybe even try to get hubby to do it if possible and only use commands she is good at so she is gaurenteed to succeed and thereby get praise from hubby.
Also if she is untrustworthy try leashing her to you for a bit, this stops her from getting into things and if you do it long enough breaks bad habbits like eating paper. If you let her off and she gets into things, leash her back up, she's a smart little thing, she'll get the pattern eventually. This also keeps her with you and possible will calm her.
As for the food, maybe try feeding her about 5-10 min after you start dinner, she may eat just because of pack instinct and might filch less food. Other than that just go with a quality food or quality homemade food and try the other suggestions.
Good Luck.

[mommacat]

Thanks everyone for all of the suggestions. I have noticed that she paces more when my husband is around, Courtnek. I talked to him about it, and he is trying to pay more attention to her, he had her come up on the couch and sit with him last night. It was really cute, she is obviously trying so hard to please him, she only "smiles" on command for him, and she gets her tail wagging so hard, her butt wagged her off the couch last night!
She only gets allowed into the room with the food 2 times a day, she still steals a lot, but we will work on that.
Yesterday morning, after I laid back down to get more sleep (I LOVE SNOW DAYS!!!) she was throwing the ball for herself, and then chasing it. I guess she has decided she needs more excercise, too!
I have convinced him to at least keep her until after Christmas break, I will have 2 weeks off and can work with her more. Now, I just hope she's ok at my mom's house, I think I will keep her leashed to me (and then pay to have mom's carpets cleaned :oops: )