Mutts 4 me your story sounds very familiar and I think my 2 are a similar nature,they are fine off the lead and would never leg it across a park to another dog and if another dog approaches calmly then they are ok but they will not tolerate a dog screaming towards them out of nowhere and they don't like being jumped on or bounced around,some dogs are just not happy with this,they do have a couple of doggy friends but when I'm out and about if I can't avoid people then I will clip them on their leads.
In an ideal world our dogs would be happy free pets but because some idiots think it's ok for their dog to come belting over to you just because their dog is friendly we have to make sure that we can handle situations, I have found the best way to do this is to have a really reliable 'leave' and recall and so that way if I see another dog tearing across the park at us I can get them to me and put their leads on.
I sympathise with you but don't avoid meeting places because of this I just let mine have a quick nose to nose sniff ( on the lead) and then off we go,if the dog is bouncy and noisy I leave well alone because I know that my 2 are not entirely happy with this.
Good luck :wink: