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Probably jobless... yeah, it's dog related

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This is probably just going to be more of a long rant than anything, so if you want to bail out now...

I have been grooming in the clinic in which I RENT space for six years now. During that time, I've obviously taken on a lot of dogs, and have been a bit involved in rescue. I can not state emphatically enough that I have NEVER, not one single freakin' time, asked the vet in that clinic for any kind of special deals or help. I've always made a conscientious effort to never say anything that could be interpreted as expecting him to help me in any way.

I get a 25% discount on products and vet services at that clinic. I've expressed my undying gratitude for it more times than I can count. Still, I always assumed it was a professional courtesy... I pimp the h*ll out of vet services and products (primarily flea control, or exams to check out an odd lump, funky ears, whatever). Anyway, I never asked for the discount, and just assumed it was, again, a professional courtesy... sort of a thank you for the significant amount of business I bring in. And again, just because I can't say this enough, I have NEVER asked him for any kind of charity, and I've never attempted to negotiate any prices. I pay him whatever he asks.

In the six years I've been there, this vet has never spoken to me in the manner in which he did yesterday. Out of nowhere, he started railing, literally stomping, turning red, and having a tantrum, about how that is HIS "d*mn clinic" and that I'm going to have to start doing whatever rescue work on my own time. Huh? I pay rent there, and the space I rent should be MINE. I'm not having people coming through the clinic looking at the dog, I'm not asking him for charity, I've not asked him to be involved in any way. Besides, the dog (little Cocker I took the other day) is staying at my receptionist's house for now as a favor to me. He is not boarding at that clinic. He just comes during the day when I'm there. I'm just techically the dog's owner, and paying for whatever he needs. I don't understand the problem because I have at least one of my dogs at work with me ever single day of the week. She brought him to work yesterday because I asked her to, so that I could tend to his ears there. ME, I, I, I tended his years, not the vet nor his staff. I'm not a d*mn employee. I pay RENT! My time is mine to do what I want with it.

From all his bitching, all I could gather is that the dog was in an inappropriate pen. It was a shaded outdoor pen that's secured right outside my door, and the clinic wasn't busy, so the dog wasn't taking a spot from a paying client. That was perhaps a mistake. I mean, we've been able to do that for six years and it's never been a problem, so I reckon I'm a dumbass for assuming it wouldn't be a problem yesterday. The vet told me AGAIN that it's HIS "d*mn clinic" and the dog shouldn't be there at all. I told him that if it were a problem, he could have approached me earlier in the day and I would have gladly moved the dog into my space... you know where I pay freakin' rent. Better yet, just charge me for a day of boarding, and I'll pay it if it's that big a deal since, AGAIN, I never balk at a bill. Did I mention that I've been there six years, paying RENT, and am still not considered trustworthy enough to have a key? If I need anything from my groom shop, I'd better make d*mn sure I get it during business hours. Ten thousand other people have a key to that building... just not me. That's a different rant, but related to the lack of respect I feel directed at me.

While he was bitching at me, literally yelling, I never did get a chance at a good rebuttal. I mean, he's chewing me out, but then basically telling me to shut up every time I tried to open my mouth. I am not his wife, kid, employee, or the village idiot. How dare he think he can address me in any manner and THEN tell me how to respond! I left just short of saying, "f*ck you!" It came so far out of nowhere that I was truly speechless. Then I was pissed for not just going ahead and saying f*ck you.

I didn't even go in to work today. This has me so angry. I can't get over it... I've never asked him for any charity, and for him to treat me like I'm trying to steal from him or take advantage of him? If, after all these years, I'm no more trustworthy than that, he can take his "d*mn clinic" and shove it sideways up his *ss.

The receptionist called me at home a while ago to say he called a big meeting about how his folks (aimed at her and me who was absentee) need to do rescue work on their time and she said he emphatically stated again that it's HIS d*mn clinic.

Not only am I angry about the way he spoke to me, and the way he acts like I'm trying to steal from him. I'm super p*ssed off because I am a d*mn client there just like any other, and I spend a LOT of money there. I've never, ever seen him address any other client of his in this manner about an animal. Even if he thinks they've gone totally bonkers and taken on more than they can handle, he keeps his mouth shut. Well, sh*t, I spend a buttload of money there, too! That includes the rescues I take in.

I'm just taking the day off to reflect on my options. The logical side of me knows I can't afford all that it would take to just pull up out of there and start a business all over again. I can't just "move" my business because if I do, it's going to be closer to home, and I live a good 30 miles from where I work. Most of my clients would not be able to follow me since they usually drop off before work, and then pick up afterward. However, the hot headed side of me absolutely cannot stand to be treated with such blatant and needless disrespect. Even if I were doing things he considered "wrong," the thing to do would have been to call me on it earlier so I could make whatever changes necessary to make him happy... not just blow up on me over something I was totally unaware was a problem.

No matter what happens, we are going to have a come to Jesus meeting. I'm not going to just let it go. I had to take today off and think. Writing is what helps me pull my thoughts together, so I wrote out my rebuttal, so to speak. I had to do SOMETHING because ever other thing I could think of to tell him started off with "f*ck you" and "go to h*ll." I'm not going to sugar coat anything, but I need to be able to talk without resorting to his level of "communication."

The receptionist, who loved that job, told me while ago that she's putting in her two week notice. Apparently, he chewed her out really good this morning, too, and she's decided she's had it with him acting like a total *ss every time he has a bad day. This is the first he's ranted on me like this, but I promise it will be his last one way or another. F*ck him.

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geez did he develop tourettes syndrome overnight or something! there is no excuse for the way he treated you, none. sounds to me like he needs some stress management courses! just where does he get off treating you like an employee? boy it's probably good he caught you by surprise or we might have heard of the ruckus on the 6 o'clock news!

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SG, I once printed out a copy of the IRS's IC guidelines. We kind of had a mutual agreement, and he's never given me any grief before now. At least, not to this degree. We never really had a contract. Stupid in some respects, but I'm also not bound by a lease agreement. The truth is he just pockets that rent money (cash, you see).

This sh*thead just tried to call me. I hung up on him. Screw him... I'll talk when I'm ready. :x

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[quote name='scotty_lvr']Wow :o I can't believe this guy actually had the guts to talk to "HF" like that...did he have a temporary lapse of memory and forget that ppl just don't do that sort of thing and live!! Poor Poor guy he must be ill!

Why does everyone always think I'm so mean??

Seriously, the receptionist/my friend just called to tell me that the vet had been trying to call (I hung up on him) to talk to me. I'm told he is apologetic and feels bad about the way he spoke to me yesterday. Screw him. We'll talk when *I* am good and ready, not when he feels like he needs to clear his conscience. Either way, I'm not letting it go until I have a chance to... vent. :x

[quote]By the way, is this the same idiot that implied that you are a dog hoarder?[/quote]
Mei, YES! When I asked him for a reference in regard to the paraplegic Dobe last year, he got all indignant and came out and said I was acting like a hoarder and told me I could not provide the kind of care that dog would need with all the other animals I have. Never could tell me where I've neglected to provide any care or medical treatment for any of my dogs, though, and ultimately did give me the reference because there just was just no reason at all not to.

Anyway, I thought about that, too, since this has come up. I was super p*ssed at him last year for that, but that was nothing compared to this. He cleaned that mess up pretty quickly and did not launch a red faced tantrum at me.

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HF, this guy sounds like a total A-hole! :x Employee or not, he has no right to speak to ANYONE in that way. And he has the NERVE to call? He is a total nut job!

If you do decide to move your bussiness, we're right behind you. Although its hard leaving old clients, you'll (hopefully) get new clients. It might take a while to "get off the ground" as they say. Good luck, whatever you choose!

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Mei, I have no doubt that you're right. However, I just don't understand why it bothers him so much. Crap, I'm PAYING him for any vet services, so I don't get what chaps his *ss about it.

In that town, there is a couple that has about ten or eleven dogs. They live in the city limits where there is a limit of two (I think... certainly not more than three) dogs per household. When animal control comes sniffing around their place a few times a year, this couple loads up dogs and board some of them at the clinic. These are some of the nastiest, mangiest, most matted dogs you could ever see. These are people who truly do mean well, but just aren't able to pull it off. Many, if not most, of these dogs are just tied up around the property. These people think they're "saving" them.

Anyway, my whole point is that he boards their dogs, vets them, whatever they need, and he NEVER berates them about how many they have, even though they own them illegally. He has never, not a single time, ever been able to give me an example of how I neglect my dogs, or why I shouldn't have so many. They get decent food, Canidae which I buy from HIM, heartworm prevention (more money to HIM), all surgeries and treatments and medications as needed (cha-ching, he gets all of that). I've never balked at any services due to cost. Heck, my husband even helped build an additional kennel area in exchange for a $400 surgery. The vet came off on the way better end of that deal because a contractor would have charged way, way more than that for the building he got.

I can not figure out for the life of me why he's so irate when I take in fosters and rescues?! If nothing else, it's additional money in his pocket... like this little Cocker puppy that's being treated with oral antibiotics, ear meds, and mange dips. I'm PAYING for all of that. H*ll's bells, one cat and one dog that I took in were animals that had been abandoned at HIS clinic... he was glad for me to take them. What's up with that?! :-?

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Guest Anonymous

What a prick...
Hes probably getting upset cause he sees, and knows his clients see, how many dogs you have helped. You might be, in his eyes, making him look bad??
How much would it cost for you to rent a little building of your own?

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everything I was going to say has been said...however, on reflection, I wonder if there is some underlying issue with him, something going on in his life, that made him turn on you like that. To me, it sounds like he "snapped"....and snapped big time. I am not excusing him, just looking for a better means to approach this issue with him. and yes, it must be approached. the fact that he called you tells me he knew right off the bat he was wrong, and is now trying to make it up. again, no excuse, but it might help to try to find out what his REAL issue is, when you talk to him. yes, make sure you tell him you wont tolerate this kind of behavior, but then maybe try to find out what CAUSED it.

I feel a "hole" here, somewhere in his experiences. dont ask me how I know. I am cursed with this understanding....

I have a sign on my back (invisible) that says "tell me your troubles..."and everyone does. whether I want to know or not appears to be irrelevant. but thats the feeling I'm getting from this.

hang in there HF. I really think there is more behind this than just you...
again, dont ask me how I know...

:oops: :oops:

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I had a boss like this who would yell at EVERYbody, emplyees and our mothers (practically), all stemming from paranoid weird notions up his ass .. it did appear to be some kind of mental dosorder combined with substance abuse and just zero social skills or self esteem. It took 10 years of being with a woman whom he adores, yet he doesn't even close to deserve, then almost losing her, and this man is still improving with much needed to go.

In short HF as you know, you must know it really has nothing to do with you.

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I have no doubt that this jerk probably has some underlying personal issues. Hey, we all have crappy days. I'm sure I've snapped at people inadvertently when I've been under stress before. I can accept that this happens with people as a human trait. I just can't accept the red faced, kicking, screaming temper tantrum he directed at me, or the barrage of personal attacks. He's going to find out that I'm not going to be his verbal punching bag unless he's willing to let me "vent" on him the same way the next time I'm p*ssed off about something totally unrelated to him. Nah, he'd never stand for it. He demands respect. Too bad he thinks he's the only one that "deserves" it.

From what I'm told, though, he called today to try to apologize. Pheh...

Want to know what's funny? Just today, on an international grooming board, I saw an ad for a job in a shop in my town which is not the same town I work in. I would be working much closer to home. While I despise the idea of sharing workspace with others (my biggest joy is to close my door, turn up my music, enjoy the dogs, and to h*ll with everyone else), I don't feel so trapped now. At least now if it turns into me indeed telling him to naff off, I won't stress over feeling like I have no options.

Mei, I love what you said about mistaking kindness for weakness, and I've included that in my written list of bullsh*t. Thanks.

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Oh, I forgot the good news... a nearby rescue group is taking the little Cocker puppy at the center of this whole mess. I told this knobhead from the beginning that I was just taking the dog temporarily... not that it should make any difference.

So anyway, little Mo has a bright outlook ahead of him. That's one good thing to come out of it.

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[quote name='JackieMaya']I think the vet needs to get laid.[/quote]

ditto that

[quote]Nothing to add, in agreement with all else, just waiting for the rest of the story! [/quote]

and ditto to that too :D

i dont know how you remain queit when he snnaps on you. i'm usually nice person BUT at the min sombody start yelling on me i dont care if he's right or wrong, i'm snapping back and harder, much harder

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I went in to work yesterday, and he followed me all over the building trying to talk. I just told him to bugger off and that I didn't want to talk right then, and he just kept following. He finally cornered me in my little space and more or less shouted "I'M TRYING TO APOLOGIZE!" So he humble apologized and told me that he had been upset about something else and I was pretty much in the right place at the right time and he took it out on me and blah blah blah. He said how he was just SO sorry and knew he was wrong and how he didn't mean it, blah.

I didn't let him off that easy. I still gave him an earful and told him that I can understand that people have shitty days, but I never intend to be his verbal punching bag again. Actually, once I opened my mouth, I let 'er rip and told him a lot of things. I told him that I'm not afraid of him because he can jump up and down and thump his chest, and I used Mei's words... told him that he must obviously mistake my kindness and silliness (since I'm sort of the class clown of the bunch... surprise, surprise, aye?) for weakness. I told him I've never expected charity from him... and he butted in that he wasn't attacking my integrity and didn't mean for me to take it that way. Crap, how else would you take it?

Anyway, he apologized all over himself and I still gave him an earful. While we were "talking," I found out the staff in the front was kind of forming a betting pool... they were taking bets on whether I had him in a headlock, a full Nelson, or if I just had scissors to his throat. :o

He spent the rest of the day kind of goofing around and acting like nothing ever happened, but it's taking me a while to let it go. I lost respect for him on SO many levels. :x

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The receptionist is kind of in a holding pattern. She REALLY liked that job, but she said she doesn't intend to be a punching bag, either. As far as I know, he's not apologized to her because he still feels like he's right on all his "issues" since she IS an employee. The more I've dug into it, the more it looks like most of this was pushed up by another longtime employee... a girl that's been there forever and pretty much runs the clinic. This gal is flaky and is constantly going on and off head meds, so her frame of mind is never consistent. Anyway, just more freakin' drama. I HATE drama!

Anyhow, it looks like one whole gigantic misunderstanding based on the words of someone who had no clue what was going on. The receptionist isn't sure yet what she's going to do. She's kind of like me... doesn't want to quit outright (but would if it took it), but we're broadening our horizons and keeping options open.

One of the reasons I chose to work for myself is because I hate office politics and drama. :-?

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