Jump to content

How to explain to a child....

Guest Anonymous

Recommended Posts

[quote name='kendalyn']I just think that it is WAY too abstract an idea for a 6 year old. It would be better to have him remember the dog when he used to run and play and be fond of those memories.[/quote]

No more abstract than the concept of death, Santa Clause, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, heaven or hell... And the bridge it is multi denominational.

If your objection to telling a child that the dog goes to heaven is because of your religious convictions and for no other reason, the original poster should know this. If your objection is because the concept of heaven or the bridge is too abstract, I disagree.

What is your experience with this issue? I am very interested. Do you have children? Do you know what the child psychologists have to say about it?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Here is a pretty good article on the subject.


We were all on the right path. Both honesty and religion are discussed.

Except it does suggest that you not rush a replacement. The child should be given an opportunity to mourn.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you should tell kids what you believe to be the truth, no matter how abstract. I said that the concept of the rainbow bridge was too abstract because I was saying this from the standpoint that it does not exist. So I wouldn't tell a child that the dog is at the bridge because I don't think they would understand that this is just an idea that is sometimes comforting to people. A child would think that it is an actual place. If you really believe it to be a real place than sure go ahead and tell the kid that.

Death and heaven and hell are complicated ideas, but (IMO) they are real. So even if it is a hard concept for the child, he/she needs to know about them.

[quote]What is your experience with this issue? I am very interested[/quote]

My experience comes from more of a theological point of view. My dad is a pastor and has taught me about theology. My parents never told my sister and I that there was a santa clause or any other fictional being. I always appreciated knowing the truth.

I have taken some child psychology courses (although I am no expert). Mostly these have given me a good idea of what most children are capable of at certain ages.

[quote]Do you know what the child psychologists have to say about it?[/quote]

No I'm not sure, but I do know that you will find about 100 different opinions from about 90 different scholars!! :lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's a pretty tough topic, because it really depends on the child's personality. My brother, mother and I can take death pretty well, while my grandmother cannot. I have a friend who recently went though ALOT, her uncle died, two days after that her little sister, and I just got news that last week her 20 year old cousin died of the same heart problem her little sister had (it runs in the family, genetic). How did my friend take this? Sure, she cried, more like teared, but God bless her soul, she didn't start screaming "why me?!?!?!" or anything. She really understands death, and most of all, accepts it. She always talks about her little sister as if she's still here on earth. Her display picture on MSN is always of her, her nicknames are dedicated to her. I think the reason is first of all, her mother is strong in the same exact way. Her mother is really religous (don't want to get into that though), and her kids are the same, she taught them early on about death, accepting it, understanding it....etc. So her kids are all strong, strong people. All accepted their family members death.

On the other hand there is my grandma. She was raised in a strict, very reserved family. It's really hard for her to communicate with people, tell them how she feels. When her son (my uncle) passed away, she didn't accept it, didn't understand it. It's amazing how my friend, who is my age, understands death better than my grandmother, who is really old. We are very careful not to mention my uncle's name near her. She starts tearing immedietly.

So, it really depends on the child's upbringing, beliefs...etc. But, he's 6 years old, way too young to have beliefs I guess. But still, if the child doesn't like to share, or is reserved, there are different methods. While a child who is really open, would have another method.

I asked my bro how he would like me to tell him if Rowie ever died, and he said (him being the macho cover-up-his-feelings type :roll: ) "just tell me the dog died and that's it". I'm sure he wouldn't want it that way, though!

Okay, I've been babbling and typing for the past half hour for no reason, my post doesn't really have a point (?). I love kids though, love talking about them, and I really hope I can be a child's therapist when I grow up (if I still didn't start Bahrain's first non-profit organization to help save the animals in Bahrain, though!). So, yeah, that's it! :lol:

Tell us how it goes, R'N'P! :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote]My parents never told my sister and I that there was a santa clause or any other fictional being.[/quote]

AHHH, but there WAS...NOT the Santa Claus we know today, but rather,
St. Nicholas. (that's what Santa Claus means) who was a pastor (I believe, my details are sketchy) in a small town in the Norway/Sweden area.
A town that had suffered from extreme cold, and hardship, due to plague-like illness. Many parents had died, leaving children in a local orphanage.
When Christmas came around, St. Nicholas was saddened by the fear, the hunger, the neediness of these children. He went from house to house, and gathered up things from people that they no longer wanted or needed,
old toys, blankets, food items, clothing...

On Christmas day, he went to the orphanage and said a prayer for the children, asking God to deliver them from their misery. Just then, the townspeople came in with the "chosen" items, gaily wrapped in
paper painted with inks made from flowers and leaves, and handed the "gifts" to the children. It was the best Christmas they had ever known,
because the giving was so special, and to see the childrens faces lite up
was astonishing to them. They had been sad for so long...now they knew
that people cared about them.

So yes, in a way, Santa Claus is real. Not quite St. Nicholas, but the spirit of gift giving reamins the same as part of the holiday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The place I work for does a "gift gathering" every year, for the area shelters and for the humane society.

This year we gatherd 439 items to be distributed to the needy, and 197 items to be given tot he humane society. They were astonished...they said
they had never seen so many animal donations given all at one time.

We also gave 40 pints of blood during the blood drive, enough to save 98
people in an emergency.

They also did a special drive to gather gifts for the soldiers in Iraq.

The world is not all bad. There are still some good people left...



Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 17 years later...

I'll do my best to assist you in locating a suitable psychiatric treatment facility. For many people, this is more important than ever. Fortunately, it's a lot easier now that I've identified knowledgeable people that can assist me. For example, you can read here with their therapy reviews; there is a list of such specialists, and all you have to do is pick the best one for yourself from among them. Best of luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.



  • Create New...